Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Leah's dinner- picture

This is the pic that was taken last week on Leah's birthday dinner.
From left: Lala, Eli, Kuya J, Jane, Me, and Leah.

V day

He took me out for dinner on the Valentine's Day.
It was not a super special restaurant, but we went to our favorite one.
Just a regular food that we like.
But I am so happy.
He took his time to come (twice!) to my home after work.
There was no flower, no candle light, and no music....
Just the effort of him to come over.
Just a surprised for me cause I did not even expect that he would come.
It was just a comfort situation, a warm of his look, a laugh from us, and a good night kiss.
And those are all I need.

Friday, February 11, 2005

Hitch

I went out to see "Hitch" yesterday night with Jane. It was a premiere. Thanks to Lala who hooked us up together ^_^
I think the movie was ok, quite entertained. The story....a romantic comedy, with, actually, cliche scenario. But isn't that what makes romantic movies go on? Love, laugh, miserable, and of course, a happy ending. All's well ends well. Will Smith was charming as usual. I always love romantic-comedy, because it does not required me to think hard. Just come into the theater, sit, relax, and enjoy the movie. And laugh. The plot sometimes are predictable and shallow, but they are still make me smile.

And while we were waiting in line for about 2 hours, we talked about so much things. I didn't even know how, all of sudden we were sharing our personal lives, despite that actually she and I have been known each other for a short time. I guess, similar experiences bring us together. The discussion, hmm..what else (or who else?)...love, and guy. Misery, broken-hearted, confusion, and question of life. Especially after the movie ended...we were such two people complaining about our life. Hehehe...I guess the movie affected us too much. Love, indeed, is a mystery (and misery?). And I guess I am not the one who thinks like that.

Anyway...I don't mean to put another complain again in my blog. I know, I've been blogging just in woe, people might get sick reading my blog. The point is, I am glad I went out yesterday and had a chance to share with someone....though I knew her only for a while, I feel like we have been friends for a long time.....

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Even a dragon feels tired...

Recently, I read someone's journal. Someone who was from my past, and somehow, still linger in my present. Someone I hated so much even though there was no single reason for hating her. She was just a wrong person in the wrong time......

The thing that is bothering me, I think she is doing great now. Life treats her nicely, and she admits that. She has a much better job and much better life than me. Oh yeah, maybe she was struggling first before she could achieve what she has now. Everybody was. But, the big BUT, our present time are so much different now. I have been jealous with her ever since in my past (for a different reason, but yes, I was jealous, let say because of reason A). And now, reason A had disappeared, but here comes reason B. Much bigger, and, it's currently happening. It's not in the past that I can forget, but it's in my present that I have to face it. Now it looks like that her life is in the right track, and my life? I don't even know if there is a track for me......

I know, I should not have this feeling. No reason of still knowing her, or following her. But I am just human, and jealous is normal for human, right? For sure, I really have envy for her. Except that it is distressing me. Now I look UP to her, and I look DOWN to me...I see how my life has nothing, and how her life has everything that I want to have and keep. A good job in a damn big company, a loving stable lover, and of course, money. She got a chance to go to the great school thanks to her parents, and now starts reaping her crops, while I am still struggling collecting the green stuff. I still have a long long way to get there...to be in her position right now. Sometimes I don't even know if I could...And the worst thing, I did hate her, and now, I think I could start hate her again...feels like your enemy gains everything in the battle you can never win.
I know, I am doing not bad in life...but, it's just ok. Regular. Average. I want to do better, and get the best of life.

The funniest and strangest thing is, that we both came from the same land. And now? I came here, and coincidentally, there she is. Everywhere I go, I have her shadow in front of me, not as a guidance, but more as a nightmare...

I don't mean to be so cynical, maybe I am just in deep down under stress and pressure. The pressure of the life that offers me nothing except struggling.

Even a dragon feels tired...

Monday, February 07, 2005

Moving or not moving, that is the question - Part 2

Moving or not moving? Ok, I have decided, and the answer is no. I have to admit I like my city better. It might not be the best one, but compare with down there, I like here better. Well, of course, if there is a great opportunity (read: job), I would not say no. But literally, I am open for all cities which can offer me a good opportunity ^_^
I am making some plans here, and doing some of them already. One by one, step by step. No vivid result yet, still working on with a lot of things, trying to realize my plans, and gradually, my dream.
But I have a life goes on....and I think I am doing fine.....

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Leah's dinner

Saturday night. I just got back home from dinner with my angelic friends...^_^ We had choir assignment today at the St. Anne, and then went out for Leah's birthday, to our fav (and my new fav) restaurant. Good food, good price! I still can fill up my stomach even I gave up the meat (seafood not included though). And followed with dessert mochi ice cream, I can barely move now....

Well, it's a nice day today. I didn't go for the play's rehearsal, I used my time finished my homework, read a little bit, and also finished my statement (I still have to re-read it). And the singing, I know a little bit off, but I think we did it quite well. At least we still got the applause...^_^

It's a good closure for this week, well, still have to wait till tomorrow, but after the hard and tiring weekdays, having a nice weekend is a necessity. So one more day to go, and then I can go back to Monday. Yuck! Why do I sound so excited????

And my back is killing me again......


PS: my friends have the pic of us, I'll put it here as soon as I get it.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

I need a roommate, again!

Guess what, my roommate is moving out, and I need a roomie, again!
Huh, can't remember how many times I've been looking a roommate, and can't believe that now I have to find another one, again.

Oh, btw, I got one already (since I wrote in December that I needed a roommate). He moved in January. But now, he is moving back to Hawaii due to his family matter or something like that (actually, with the reason that I think is not really compelling for me, or the reason that I will never ever do). But hey, different person has different opinion, and that's normal. So, what can I do? If he wants to move back to Hawaii, I can't say that is anormal, right?

Anyway, I will ended up with having an empty room, and have to get someone else by the end of this month. I already posted my ad at craigslist, hopefully I can get his replacement right on time......

Anybody is looking a place in San Francisco????

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

An occupied mind of mine

I've been worried lately. For everything, especially about my family. It is hard knowing that the people you love so much are having a huge problem, and nothing you can really do about because you are so far away. What's the problem? Money, yes, the green word, the green stuff, the thing that might be able to bring you happiness, but even more, bring you the horrible nightmare. And it's about a very childish, ungrown up person. Someone who can never make me proud for.

Anyway. My mind and thought are fully occupied now. And he said I am worried too much. But how can I am not? I am not a heavy thinker, but I can't be an easy going person either. If something is not right, I will keep thinking about it, trying to solve the problem, and thinking about it, again. I can't resting until I know, at least, there is a way to solve.

I am tired. But seems that the problem never ever getting tired, or, the person is not getting tired for making the same problem.

Time seems flying by. Can you imagine it is February now? It has been a month since the 1st day of 2005. Now I feel like I am chasing the time....so many things to do, so little time.

hmm....and my nose was bleeding again today.....

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