Ambivalent

Lots of thoughts in my mind....
I did my show yesterday, and back on stage, well, not really the perfect condition, but it was still the same line of walk. And somehow, I was not very satisfied.
Hmm...remind me again why I left? Smoking, drinking...things that should be apart from me, and not part of me.
Fake laugh, attitude, parties and crazy nights. I can't be someone who is not me.
It does not matter where I am, everybody behaves just the same attitude. And I don't want to act like them just because I want to be accepted.

Ambivalent.
Not knowing what I want, or wanted.
Like, and dislike....
Past, future, blur.
What I did in the past, will reflects my future.
Once I regret, I will regret it forever.....

And still, the show must go on....wherever and whatever I did.