The only thing that is constant is change

It's getting closer to my birthday, and somehow I wanted to stop for a moment and write a few things.

"sigh"
I feel so absurd. Lots of things happened since last year. I never really have any birthday wishes for myself...maybe a cake when I was little. In these past several years, sad things happened around the month of July, so I stop to wish for anything because I was too busy to force myself to move on.

Last year, perhaps a good one. I just started my job for a few months, everything seemed so new and exciting, I felt so many opportunities. Nice people to work with, great company, passion to learn new things...
I had my birthday dinner with some people from the choir (they cooked for me!). I remember that my heart was aching last year, cause something unexpected happened around end of June. But I moved on.

This year, people had gone. Everything changed. Like someone at work had said: "The only thing that is constant is change", even sad, I can't argue with that.
I lost my good friends from work and I miss them so much. I lost someone too, though how could I say that I lost something if I never have it?
Everything seems so political now at work (or maybe I just finally realized now as I immersed deeper and deeper). Another year almost gone by, and I still feel so unsure. I am still hurt - I know I'll be fine, but I will need time to heal myself. And move on to continue my journey to find God's will.

Deep down in my heart, I stopped wishing for "cake" and started wishing for a happiness. This year, I'll wish for the same thing.